You’re quite comfortable around dangerous animals. Are you an avid outdoorsman?
I’m heading out to Colorado soon with my dad to do some real camping – out in the middle of nowhere, with tents and no showers.
Like that hardcore camping where you have to haul around your shit?
Yes, we have to shit in each other’s mouths, which is really unfortunate. But that’s camping, you know? That’s what you’re supposed to do when you camp. All the animals in this photo shoot shat in my mouth.
Sorry to hear that. So are you a big clothes guy?
To a certain extent. I have lots of shirts. I love Band of Outsiders shirts, and I just keep purchasing them. I have nowhere to wear them – they just make me feel secure having them in my closet.
Do you and Aziz Ansari go suit shopping after work on Parks and Rec?
No, but we do talk about clothing. We’re always like, “Hey, where’d you get that?” You know, just two dudes hanging out. I don’t think we’ve ever talked about sports, but we do talk about where that jacket came from.
Can you give our readers some style don’ts?
Sure. I’d advise guys to take it easy on the vests. And I think be cautious with hats.
Like tiny fedoras?
Just any. Be careful, because there’s an 80 per cent chance that you’re gonna look like a complete idiot. Get a couple of opinions before you walk out that door. And enough with the scarves. Everybody put the scarves back in the drawer, unless it’s cold. Ladies with scarves? Great. Guys? F–kin’ take it easy.
You’ve been in some awesome flicks, among them Piranha 3D. That was filmed at Lake Havasu, which we’ve heard is the boat-porn capital of the world. Did you see any while you were there?
I didn’t, but I had to be in the water a lot, and I got this skin rash because there’s so much bacteria. I thought I had bed bugs because my whole body was itching. So I went to the Lake Havasu doctor, and he’s just like, “Nope, this is the water.” You’ve got to rub this crazy, like, gasoline on your skin to get rid of it.
That is truly foul. So you could get pregnant swimming in there?
I did. I got pregnant.
Well, you lost the weight, and you look fantastic.
Have you got any parting style advice for MAXIM readers?
Yes. When you walk inside, take off your f–king sunglasses. Just sayin’, take ’em off.
For the full feature and images grab the July 2013 issue of MAXIM, in stores June 19 – July 16, 2013.
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