To celebrate MAXIM’s 8th Birthday, our resident sexpert VANESSA DE LARGIE presents a list of eight helpful methods to help you live your sexiest life…
What prevents people from living a sexual life outside the bedroom? Is it a lack of experimentation or just blatant vanilla conventionalism? Erotic living exists outside the confines of one’s boudoir. It’s a way of life for many yet it should be a way of life for all. Here are some handy hints to get you going.
Creativity is the first step to living an erotic life outside the bedroom. One has to be willing to open their mind and think outside the box. According to a national survey conducted by Body & Soul, almost 50% of Aussie men craved a more adventurous sex life, with twice as many blokes (compared to women) admitting they enjoyed a bit of ‘crumpet’ on the side (in their supposedly monogamous relationships). This research reveals that a lot of Australian men are bored out of their brains. Well, it’s time to stop making excuses and get creative. Creativity is the fast track to a truly erotic sex life.
They say erotica starts in the mind and I agree with this sentiment. As one often discovers – imagining sex with someone can be more erotic than the actual lived reality. Arousing others can be a whole lot of fun and, at this point in time, it’s still not against the law. So, how does one go about arousing another away from the bedroom? I give a few suggestions further down this article – patience, please!
SEXTS & DICK PICS
Dick pics get a bad rap in the mainstream media, particularly from femi-nazis who continually try to erase a woman’s sexual agency with their meaningless arguments. But, the truth is lots of women love to receive dick pics and this is rarely spoken about. I would suggest before you send a dick pic or kinky sext, that you’re 100% sure she is open to receiving one. Many women take great offence to receiving unsolicited pics of the male appendage. So PLEASE be sure to do your homework first.
Because men are such visceral creatures, they tend to often view sex as physical and external. Erotica starts internally in the form of thoughts, actions, deeds, sensations, feelings and imaginings. Mainstream erotica and sexuality also tends to get hung-up by surface-level stuff such as looks, clothes, etc… If you want to have a shit-hot sex life and attract a whole gamut of sexual experiences, try looking inside.
STRIP, FETISH & SEX CLUBS
As a woman I hate the stigma around sex work, group sex, strippers and so on. It’s so backwards. It demonises men and makes fools out of the women who consciously choose to work in these occupations. Sex clubs and fetish clubs are a great place to explore sexual fantasies away from home with like-minded people in a safe and sexually educated environment. Strippers and sex workers provide men and women with an outlet – a place to explore new sex acts, a place away from home, a place of counsel. More importantly, a place of non-judgment. It’s a wonderful (not to mention honest) way to explore one’s sexuality and sensuality.
Sex in public (though illegal) is so much fun – the fear of getting caught only increases the carnal pleasures. But if you’re a wowser, have no fear – there are other sexual exchanges to be had. A flirtatious conversation with a stranger is perhaps a good start? How about a follow-me-home-and-f–k-me look or even an accidental and innocent brush-up against someone? Sexual exchanges are waiting to be had – so, put your mobile phone away and engage with the world.
Masturbating in one’s bedroom – as comfortable and relaxing as it can be – can get a tad monotonous. Why not try some location masturbation in different places. The options are endless.
Intelligence is sexy. Reading is sexy. Knowledge is sexy. One doesn’t have to read erotic novels to escape to new worlds. One can escape to new worlds by reading fiction, non-fiction, fantasy and history. Erotic living is very much based on escapism via different mediums. So, read your little heart out and increase your sexual prowess.
As you can see, being erotic outside the bedroom is not always about physical acts or the external. It’s about the mind, the emotional and the spiritual. Being a more erotic person away from the “bedroom of convention” will only enrich your life. Go for it!
BY VANESSA DE LARGIE
Vanessa de Largie is an Australian actress, sex columnist and freelance journalist based in London
For the full article grab the August 2019 issue of MAXIM Australia from newsagents and convenience locations. Subscribe here.