Callan Mulvey

From roles in Australian dramas such as Underbelly and Bikie Wars: Brothers In Arms to big-screen hits like Zero Dark Thirty and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Callan Mulvey is heating up Hollywood fast. He chats to us about his job, women, and his latest gig as a wealthy beach club owner in the black comedy thriller Kill Me Three Times, alongside Simon Pegg and fellow Aussies Luke Hemsworth, Sullivan Stapleton, and Teresa Palmer

How did your role in Kill Me Three Times come about?
I read the script and loved it. It’s a black comedy with intertwining stories of desperation and greed and my character is a broken man filled with self-loathing who deals with losing his wife in the worst way possible. Essentially, I’m the ’bad guy’ but it’s my job to create some sort of depth, dimension and complexity to this type of character.

What did you enjoyed most about doing this film?
We had an amazing crew and our cast were f–king brilliant. I loved the entire cast so much. I’m good friends with Sullivan and Luke so it’s great to be able to work with mates.

Describe Simon Pegg.
He is incredibly intelligent, quick witted and, as everyone knows, a very funny guy.

Did you always want to be a professional actor?
I wanted to be Magnum, P.I.. Why? Watch Magnum, P.I. through the eyes of an eight-year-old boy. Later on, I wanted to be a cinematographer. I’m most in awe of the cinematographer on set. Some of the best cinematographers in the world are Australian.

What’s been YOUR most embarrassing moment?
Pretty much all 730 days between the ages of 13 and 15. That was one LONG, embarrassing moment.

What was your first car?

A Renault station wagon that was an absolute piece of shit. It needed a new everything and sat in a garage for about six months whilst my dreams of ’restoring it’ played out. The sad delusions of a 15-year-old.

What have you learned about women over the years?
They should be running things and deserve to be paid more than us. Surely the gender who can do more than one thing at a time deserve a higher pay grade because, let’s be honest, they are infinitely more productive.

Got a favourite curse word?
F–k it. It feels very Australian both in tone and intention. Like most curse words, it has a wide range of connotations and applications.
What can we get you at the bar?
Sparking mineral water, which provides Luke Hemsworth and Sullivan Stapleton with much piss-taking joy.

Right. Can you tell us about the worst hangover you’ve had?
Too many to count. Hence the sparkling mineral water.

Do you have a party trick?
With or without 16 beers? If with, the tricks are infinite. Without, I make a mean Chai Latte.

Boom! What’s one thing to remember in a fight?
Always bring a stuntman or five. I’ll meet the guys back at that new organic, paleo café where the frappuccinos are on me. Afterwards, I can help them discuss feelings and process the emotional pain. I’m an actor, we’re the last people you want in a fight.

Do you have a scar that tells a story?
I have a couple but the obvious is the one on my chin courtesy of the non-collapsible steering column in my ’76 Statesman Caprice after I was hit head on at 100km/h. I still love that car. May she rest in peace.

How do you want to go?

Do you have any deathbed confessions?
I can’t tell you now unless you’re planning to kill me at the end of this interview.

What’s your last meal?

French fries in a bread roll and chocolate cake and ice cream washed down with Melbourne Bitter.

Are you going to Heaven or Hell?
I’ll be seeking absolution in purgatory because that’s where all actors belong – for being so self-absorbed.

If you end up getting into Heaven or Hell what do you say to God or the Devil when you get there?

Will anyone let me in. Either/or will do.

What’s the greatest Callan Mulvey scene that never made it on screen?
We need to go back a page to my answer about 16 beers and party tricks.

To whom on Earth do you owe an apology?
My mother – where should I start?

What’s your greatest achievement during your time on earth?
Kindness and humility. Hopefully I have some more time on earth to achieve this.

What’s the dumbest thing you ever did on Earth?
All 730 days between the ages of 17 and 19. Again, one long, dumb thing after another.

Name one thing you’re glad you’ll never have to do again.

Be 13. Happy to not be 13 again.

What are your mates saying over your casket?
Not much. “Yeeeew! Rest in peace ya Chai Latte c—t.” What can I say, my mates are Australian men.

What’s written on your tombstone?
Hopefully they’ll just throw the ashes under a tree. I’d like to hope “Loving father and good husband” but I couldn’t be certain someone wouldn’t take a sharpie to it and write “Chai Latte C—t”. Not to name names… Luke Hemsworth and Sullivan Stapleton.

Got any last words?

F—k it.

For the full article grab the October 2015 issue of MAXIM Australia.

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