Wellness expert, lifestyle coach and bestselling author ANDI LEW shares 10 top tips on how you can score a lovely lady in under two weeks. You’re welcome…
We all observed from enjoying the Matthew McConaughey blockbuster How to Lose a Guy in 10 days that the opposite outcome to what the title suggests was achieved. Andie, who is played by Kate Hudson, entered a bet with her colleagues that she could lose the guy as she was completely aware of his bet that he could win her over in 10 days. In the end they fall madly in love anyway, but was it all a game of cat and mouse?
It’s the old “push/pull” theory that makes life unpredictable and wildly exciting. We don’t always want to know what’s going to happen next. Sometimes we need a plan but certainly not when it comes to romance. It’s the element of surprise that make things heat up or butterflies appear. If you’re not sold on this theory, and it’s too “mind, body spirit” then look at it from a quantum physics perspective. It needs to come from a place of heathy balance. What you fear, you attract and what you resist: persists! So, when you’re trying too hard to brush someone off, you’ll adopt an energy that is more attractive because you’re unattainable. Flip this role and the opposite happens again.
If you don’t play the game; you’ll sit on the sidelines, but at some point you’ll need to get in and have a crack at clocking the game of modern love! The bottom line is, come at it from a healthy balance of in and out or hot and cold. Things take time to warm up and then you want to keep your girl on heat and definitely not on the back burner, if you want to keep her! “Win or lose”, 10 days is pretty much all it takes to get used to an idea, or lose the idea of a potential of new love with someone.
A lot happens in a day. So much more happens in a week. After one week, we start to begin the routine of what we may have done the week before when we first started interacting with our new potential love interest. Therefore about three more days of getting used to having that person in or out of our lives is all it will take to seal the deal or move right on. Knowing this will help you dive right in if you feel it’s something you want to explore more of. Otherwise, it’s super important to let go and put your energy into someone else that might be more right for you. So, let’s break it down to 10 steps in 10 days…
- GO WITH GUT
If it feels right, go with it. Intuition always knows. Men are just as intuitive as women. They just don’t necessarily express it in as many words as we do. Men usually act and we just talk about it. Sometimes when a man feels it isn’t quite right to begin a relationship, he’s acting out of intuition and moving on could be a real blessing. However, if you’re feeling all the feels, it’s important to not think too much and just act, as you’re so good at doing.
- CONTACT IS KEY
In the beginning, whether you’ve matched on a dating app or met in the flesh, you’ll need to maintain a certain level of contact. Women love to know you’re there and still interested. There’s no point in having started a great connection and then you disappear. This spells “unreliable”. Keep in mind though that you’ll need to also have a life. It’s all about the balance. A healthy amount of contact would be to answer or send a message within that day. Give it some thought. Add value to the conversation. No one word answers unless you’re being brief about how busy you are and you’ll reply longer later.
- IT’S ALL ABOUT BALANCE
Show a healthy level of keen interest in her and ask her questions that allow you to get to know her as a person. You’ll then be able to start complimenting her on her character and not just her physical appearance which is where people start falling in love. We often talk about this as when others start seeing you for who you really are. This is inner beauty and wildly attractive too.
- TURN THAT DM INTO A CALL
If you’re not picking up the phone for long-winded telephone conversations by now; your grip is slipping! Make sure there’s a healthy dose of flirt and you’re making her laugh, too. You’ll need to also lighten up, so focus on you and be the best version of yourself so that you can start to feel better about yourself. Making time for your own self-love journey means that you’ll not only be more appealing, but even if it doesn’t work out with this woman, you’ll be ready for the next!
- MAKE THE DATE
If you haven’t already made plans to see each other by now, you’re going to have to. At least have the conversation, but you’re at half-time and we need you to secure or lock in a date – literally. Suggest places to go based on what you already know about her. Asking for a date prior to this could be risky if you don’t know enough about her. If you already do, then kudos to you for fast tracking this process! Great dates are based on the individual likes and dislikes of each couple. There’s no one size fits all formula, because it depends on the person, place, timing, weather and season.
- BACK OFF BEAUTIFULLY
Be an absolute gentleman about it but you’ve locked in a date, she’s excited, she’s planning what to wear and she’s told all her girlfriends she’s no longer available for the girl’s night out. Here’s your chance to play cat and mouse but only because you’re busy and working on yourself – not because you’re being mean to keep her keen. This is why the key word in this phrase above is “beautifully”. You want to be gentle and beautiful about the notion that you’ve given her time and energy and you’re also excited to see her, but you’re just taking some time to be the best version of you, too. You can, of course, stay in contact but keep it all short and sweet. Very sweet.
- BE THOUGHTFUL
Send her something that surprises her. It could be a meme you made based on something you laughed about, or a video call that surprises her. Go all-in again after you sat back yesterday. She will be super excited to hear from you, since there was a little lull yesterday and ready to have some fun.
- GET PREPARED
You want to start making way for any feelings you may have. You might even want to journal about how you feel about this girl or talk to a friend about it. On a physical level you might want to wax, shave, iron or just get your affairs in order. No pun intended!
- DATE OR DUMP
If you’re in, you’re in. So, just go with the flow and enjoy it completely. Turn your phone off and put it away for a while. Show her you’re making her a priority and start to remember why it felt like where you’re so in the moment that you don’t even want any interruptions. If there’s going to be a first kiss, make sure you’re in your element. You’re feeling healthy and your breath is fresh. Eating a bunch of parsley or even parsley juice is the best breath freshener there is! As a wellness coach I have all the natural tips that work. Parsley works from the gut, unlike breath mints that contact sugar or artificial sweetener and work from only the mouth.
- STAY STRONG
You’re in now. You’ve dated, kissed and you feel great. Stay in the lead and her romantic lead of her favourite rom-com, with follow-up. You want to be the only one she can think about now so put all the above on repeat. Sit back a little again and allow her to contribute, too. It’s a little game of being in balance with yourself and each other and you’ll be on the path to love or self-love. Either way – you’re winning.
Bestselling author Andi Lew launches her seventh book #instalovers after appearing on several TV shows both in Australia, and recently the US, as a Wellness Expert. You may recognise Andi from when she played Cupid on Australia’s popular dating show Shopping For Love and she was also the original Ultra Tune girl. As a certified wellness and lifestyle coach, she married her obsession with helping you have more love and connectedness in your life – and partners it with a healthy dose of flirt! Stay connected with Andi via Instagram @andi.lew
For the full article grab the May 2019 issue of MAXIM Australia from newsagents and convenience locations. Subscribe here.