You could watch the late news or that weird live psychic reading show, or you could tune into MAXIM TV. Yes, somebody has been foolish enough to give us our own TV show, which we’ve naturally filled with our favourite MAXIM girls, celebs, silly talk, and some overweight ranga doing fitness. Manning the ship are James “Kerls” Kerley and the delightful Lana Kington. We managed to corner them in our office and probe them. MAXIM TV is here!
MEET THE HOSTS
Hey TV boy, can we borrow $20?
Go f–k yourself.
How did you find Lana for the show?
Great question! Channel Ten gave us the leftovers list from The Bachelor castings. None of them were interested in the show, and neither was Sandra Sully, sadly. Then we contacted Lana’s agent – who also doubles as her mother – and got her on!
What part of yourself do you wash first in the shower?
Is this the standard question template for MAXIM cover girls? But glad you asked: first my balls then I slowly work my way… Dudes don’t wanna hear what parts a dude washes on himself first. Jeeezus!
What’s it like working with us?
The MAXIM crew are like a pirate ship full of media outlaws that have been fired from everywhere else or are on the government’s new write-for-the-dole scheme. So it’s like a second home.
Is it true you used to watch Kerls on Nickelodeon when you were at school?
No, but I did see him on Australian Idol and I thought he was great.
James: Hmmm… wrong James.
Who would you rather pash: Lindsay Lohan or Miley Cyrus?
Tough call! Lindsay Lohan doesn’t know where her next kiss is coming from, so she might put in a bit more effort. Plus who knows where Miley’s tongue has been.
Blonde’s have more… pheomelanin in their hair than brunettes!
How far do you go on a third date?
Hmm… probably 20km from my house. I will go an extra 10km if we’re having Mexican.
What’s the best thing about working with us?
MAXIM has finally provided me an insider’s look into the male psyche; what they want, how they think, what makes them tick. According to Kerley, guys like a finger up their butt during sex. Who knew?
WTF is MAXIM TV?
James: It’s the best bits of the mag and life wrapped into half an hour of non-organic, gluten packed, man-friendly TV.
Lana: It’s done for MAXIM mag what Tinder has for dating.
James: Are you on Tinder?
Lana: Don’t bother looking, I already swiped “no”.