OK, I asked for it. The other day, I was talking with my gal-pal, ‘Julie’, and I started complaining about all the, in my humble opinion, stupid conditions women put on sex. Well, Julie may be ‘one of the guys,’ but she’s not a guy. And she definitely has her own opinions about where men’s sex moves fail. And by sex moves, she doesn’t mean Kama Sutra stuff. No, she means things men do in the bedroom that are sexually selfish.
I asked her for a list of 10 selfish sex moves that men make and that women hate. I figured the list would be good to educate myself and my fellow men. Well, first of all, I have to say the list stings a bit. I’m shame-faced. I consider myself enlightened, but I’m guilty of more than a few. But then, the list also annoys me because there’s the guy’s side to the story. And of course, being a woman, Julie gave me 11 things instead of 10. The ladies just have to get in one more word …
11 Sex Moves Girls Hate
1. Skipping the foreplay (Girls sometimes need the … moisture.)
I get this one, but how much foreplay does a woman need? Does one ask, ‘Baby, are you wet yet?’ I think not! I guess stick with the foreplay until she starts to attack you back. Of course, you can always feel her up to check.
2. Having an orgasm and not considering whether or not she has one
I think guys try, but when a man’s done, he’s done. Of course, some men have premature ejaculation, but even men without a PE problem last only 3-7 minutes. And what if she fakes an orgasm? How is a man supposed to know? If she doesn’t fake it and you’ve already finished, then help her get there with other sex moves …
3. Wants oral sex, but won’t reciprocate
Maybe I’m biased, but I think men are generally fresher than women, if you know what I mean. But if she’s clean, then I agree it’s not fair to not reciprocate. And women should know that more than a few men have ‘cowboyed up’ when a woman is a little unfresh, especially during morning sex. Think about those sex moves, Ladies!
4. Only wants sex when he wants it, but not when she wants it
This one blows me away. When does a guy not want it? Maybe when he is truly physically exhausted? But if you’re a man who does have a lower sex drive than his partner, you’d better give her the sex moves she wants, otherwise she won’t give back and might even start looking around for a new guy.
5. Not wanting to cuddle afterwards
Many men have a genuine desire to get away from a woman after sex. It’s a biological thing, not something he can help. And how long is this cuddling supposed to go on? Sure, I like a good cuddle, too, but I don’t want to spend three hours in bed … unless there’s going to be more sex (or cookies).
6. Not asking a girl first if he can try something
So much for spontaneity. I mean, if it’s something potentially physically awkward or painful, I agree, discuss first. But on the other hand, in my experience, many times a woman wants to be ‘surprised’ by pulling her hair or a smack on the rump. It’d be stupid to ask for clearance first for any and all sex moves. My compromise is to start softly and see how she responds.
7. Wants to go multiple times without giving her time to recuperate
I thought women wanted as many multiple orgasms as they can get! I mean, sure, if a woman doesn’t seem interested in another go, give up the sex moves, especially if she’s not moist. But dang, if I could have multiple orgasms, I don’t think I’d stop until I were famished, had to use the toilet, or fell dead asleep (or just dead).
8. Wants pristine pubic grooming for his partners but not himself
Maybe I grew up watching too much porn, but I find a shaved lady lovely. But have you ever tried to shave a man’s parts? Tricky. Maybe meeting half way with a bit of a buzz and wash is the way to go …
9. Refuses condoms, but makes the girl pay for birth control
Yeah, that is callow. Condoms reduce feeling, but birth control is a lot of money. Maybe it’s good to chip in if you have a steady girl. Fortunately, a non-pharmaceutical, reversible male contraceptive is on the way.
10. Knows the position that works for him, but not for her
Well, ladies, speak up. It’s not like we can guess. Because if it works for you, it works for us – at least for a while. Nothing is more exciting that your woman getting excited, so lead the way!
11. Expects women to behave like they do in porn
What does that even mean? Demand crazy, porn-like sex moves? Make a lot of noise? Maybe that means acting like a tart? We men are simple creatures, so meet us halfway, Ladies, by making your enthusiasm known through sound and body motion – or fake it till you make it.
My Sex Moves Take-Aways?
Maybe my responses show that, after all, I’m not the most sex-enlightened male in the world. If so, at least I’m not the only one. And thank you, Julie, for giving us guys something to think about in regards to our stupid ‘sex moves’.
By Alan Oak
Alan Oak writes for Viamed Australia. Helping men relax in the bedroom since 2011.