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Christian Hull

The Australian comedian, YouTube star and social media sensation discusses his last day on Earth…

How do you want to leave this world?
If it’s an unexpected sudden death I want to die from a heart attack in the middle of a giant gay orgy. If I make it to 90 I want it to be done via purchasing a death kit on gumtree, “Dying With Dignity” style on my watch.

What’s your last meal?
Cheese platter. No – cheese table, with every conceivable dip, cracker and cheese. That’s more like how I will actually die – too much cheese in one sitting and my organs shutdown. I have had a few scares.

Are you going to Heaven or Hell?
According to Israel Folau me and most of the population are going to Hell. It’s going to be super fun, though. Folau will be there, too! 

What do you say to the Devil when you get there?
“Where have you been all my life?” Then begin to make out with Him.

What’s the greatest Christian Hull body of work that never saw the light of day? 
I’m so glad I never posted this one – I had a proper mental breakdown and made a David Hasselhoff on-the-floor-kebab style video of me just going crazy. I was going to post it and then decided to sleep on it. I woke up the next morning and just felt so sorry for myself then deleted all traces of that hot mess.

What did you know now that you didn’t know at 18?
If you want something don’t rely on other people to make that dream happen… and Volvo’s are not a cool first car to have. 

What’s the dumbest thing you ever did on Earth?
Someone asked if I’d be happy to take a photo and I was thrilled to and put my arm around them only to realise they were tourist who had no idea who I was.

What are your friends saying over your casket?
“Get a bigger casket – his fat rolls mean we can’t close it properly.”

What’s written on your tombstone?
“He lived a Gouda life”.

Your last words are?
No-one will know as the mouthful of cheese will muffle them.

Finally, what can audiences expect from your upcoming tour?
A total mental breakdown onstage and a tutu dance scene.

INTERVIEW BY SANTI PINTADO

Don’t miss Christian Hull performing live with Tanya Hennessy in Australia & New Zealand this September and October. For tickets and details go to frontiercomedy.com

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